Lately I have been getting the impression that the
nearing of the holiday season strikes fear and
stress into the hearts of moms across the country,
not just me. I have not included moms across the
world for two reasons: #1. I don't know many
personally, and #2. I have a feeling they do things
differently than we do here in the United States to
a large degree. There is a LOT of responsibility on
mothers today to make Christmas a magical, memorable
time for our families, especially for our children.
As the time approaches, we scramble at an increasing
pace everyday to make it all happen. This includes
the shopping, baking, craft-making, wrapping,
shipping, phone-calling, cooking, sending Christmas
cards, making the treats to send to school,
attending the performances, paying the bills, and
the list goes on. How much time, during this
madness, do we have to reflect on the real meaning
of Christmas? Why do we fall into the nearest comfy
chair on the 2nd of January, collapsing and saying,
"Shew, I'm glad it's over for another year. I need a
vacation!" Is that any way to regard the birthday
party of our Savior? Of course not, but it happens.
Every year, we all think, "OK,
this year, I'll have my act together…shopping will
be done by Thanksgiving, and everything will be
wrapped long before Christmas Eve. I'll have
fresh-baked goodies for everyone within a 60 mile
radius, our Christmas feast table will be the envy
of all (including Martha Stewart), and my children
will not spill a drop of holiday punch on their
velvet dresses." Sound familiar? It's frightening,
the pressure we put on ourselves. So what's the
answer? Learn to say no, learn to accept the holiday
season as it comes, and worry more about
contributing to the honoring of the holiday itself
rather than trying to please everyone you know. It
sounds so easy, and I know it isn't.
First of all, take a look at your
holiday calendar. Is every night filled with
something? A Christmas play, an office party, a
craft bazaar, maybe? Take a good look at some of
these events, and see if there are one or two in
there from which you can excuse yourself this year.
Our goal is to make the holidays beautiful memories
for our children, so you could use those open
evenings to browse through photo albums recalling
past Christmases. Or you might keep an Advent
calendar handy and discuss the events leading up to
the birth of Jesus. You could have an evening of
just baking cookies with your children.
Second of all, try to simplify the
gift-giving part of Christmas. How much do our
children really need in order to have a merry
Christmas? Do they need the expensive toys piled up
to the ceiling, only so they can be cast aside when
they're bored with them? Human nature dictates that
the more we get, the more we want. I'm amazed at the
vast difference in our day and that of many years
ago when children might get an orange in their
stocking, a peppermint stick, and maybe a new wooden
toy, handmade by Daddy. Now I'm not suggesting that
we simplify to that degree, but it wouldn't hurt to
take a good look at how much we're spending on gifts
that we're not even 100% sure the receivers will
like. Handmade gifts certainly carry more meaning,
and they show children that they are worth spending
the time it takes to make those gifts. Rushing and
pushing around a mall with thousands of other
shoppers doesn't always inspire that kind of warm,
fuzzy feeling this time of year.
Third of all, take the time to
explain, in as much detail as you can, the events of
Christmas. Spending time with your children,
teaching them the meaning of it all, and sharing in
the spirit of Christmas is the greatest gift you can
give them. This time can be spent curled up on the
couch with hot cocoa and popcorn. You might turn off
all the lights except for the lights on the tree,
and tell about Joseph and Mary traveling into
Bethlehem and not being able to find a room. Help
your children imagine how anxious and frightened
they must have felt at that time, but then how
joyful it must have been for them when their baby
was born.
When I look back on past holidays
when I was a child, the things I remember are not
the gifts under the tree. They are things like going
to midnight Mass as a family, waking up first thing
and stayng in our jammies on Christmas morning, my
family gathering for dinner together, and being with
my grandparents. The holidays are about joy and
peace. It's sad how we've turned that into
frustration and depression. But it's not too late to
teach our children a better way. I think we owe it
to them.
Mia Cronan is the mother of three
daughters, ages 4, 2, and 6 months, living in
Pennsylvania. She also co-publishes a Web site for
stay-at-home moms, called Main Street Mom. The site
offers support, inspirational stories, comedy,
money-saving tips, a nationwide playgroup listing,
and much more. Visit Main Street Mom at
www.mainstreetmom.com Subscribe to the free weekly
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