by Jenny Wanderscheid
So, I am looking at the calendar
here, and I get reminded that soon I will have been
married to my wonderful husband for 8 years. Hmmm.
Not bad by today's standards. So, three kids later,
a house, a mortgage, a pile of bills, hubby working
overtime, school clothes to buy, car repairs to pay
for and oh so much to worry about, how do we keep it
together?
I have a lot of people ask me the
secret of a happy marriage. I think if I had to pick
one single thing, it would be our commitment to one
another. I may not always be passionately in lust
with my husband, and I may occasionally be
frustrated with him, and I am sure that I have irked
him many a time, but when you cut to the bottom
line, we made a promise and a commitment to one
another. That commitment gets us through the rough
spots and on to better places.
So, we have the commitment that
holds us together, but what about the rest?
Obviously by looking at today's divorce rate, it is
just not enough. People often ask me how we stay
happy and in love with each other. My answer? He is
my best friend in the whole world. I married someone
that I truly and deeply love to be with. Even if I
wasn't married to him, I would want to be his
friend. We enjoy a lot of the same activities, and
we think alike and agree on most things. We spend
time talking with each other, and we spend quiet
time just enjoying that the other is there.
Okay, so I have this great
commitment with a wonderful friend. Hmmm. Still not
enough for a happy marriage. So what else is there?
Romance and lust don't last. If you build a marriage
on that, it probably will not work. But, throw
romance and lust into the mix of commitment and
friendship and you have a recipe for a long lasting
adventure.
Although I am not walking around
like a teenager on her first crush, my husband still
has the power to melt my knees with a smile. We have
our lulls and our rough spots like any couple, but
in the end, I know that he is the man of my dreams.
Now, throw in trust, humor, (lots
of it) and a little quiet time alone and you have a
good recipe. Even if it is just a night out at a
movie, or as much as a weekend at a hotel, you HAVE
to make time for yourselves. I love being a mommy,
but sometimes you have to let your husband see the
non mommy side of you too to keep things fresh and
romantic. Corny as it sounds, throw a love letter in
his lunch box. Call him at work just to tell him
that you miss him. And never, ever let him leave the
house without kissing him good bye and telling him
that you love him.
I am not an expert on marriage,
and I don't claim to know all the answers. On my
70th anniversary maybe I will probably have more
advice, but for now, I hope this helps someone :)
About the Author
Jenny is a 30 year old WAHM and the creator of the
ChildFun Family Website. http://www.childfun.com/
She and her husband Rick are raising their three
children in Southern Minnesota with laughter and
love